key debacle

Here's what was on my windshield when I went to get my car unlocked, after sitting in the Chapel Hill Country Club for a week:

Hi Friend,
I just wanted to let you know that some knucklehead vandalized your car by slapping an Obama sticker on it. The last thing you want is to be driving around all day, looking like an idiot.
Take care. A Good Samaritan.

The fact that there is a comma splice in this drives me crazy for so many reasons.

One of the things I was quite worried about was the colander of fresh figs from my fig tree I had left in the car; I was worried it would be moldy and smelly, but instead I had a nice colander of dried figs.

And I didn't find my keys.