well, after a blood draw and a bag taped to his penis, the results are that archer is fine.

When I picked wiley up today he said he had been playing "bad guy with [some kid]" I asked, "how do you play bad guys?" "we punch sam and then laser the girls" me, in shock (need to control that next time) "did you really punch sam?" He says no, but geeze, preschool.
Also, "you better give me that now or you will die." Lovely.