"mom!mom! one of your honeybees was looking for nectar on me!" --Archer

As I was wiping off Bobby's hands he turned to grammy and said "why is that girl wiping off my hands?"

I was in the store with Archer where he saw a man with a birthmark on his face and was asking what it was. I was explaining birthmark to him and said, "You know, like how your friend sophie has one on her forehead."  He then said, "NO. that's a bookmark; book-mark." (and enunciated the second bookmark very clearly and slowly so I wouldn't make that mistake again).