the bite

Well, in timing with Carolyn's blog here we have it; I am that mother. Today when I went to pick up Wiley from Gloria's Gloria asked how things were going at home as a gentle way of leading into telling me that Wiley bit Sarah today, on the cheek. I looked at Sarah and said, ooooh, but was thinking, I don't see anything... then poor Sarah turned her head and there on her lower cheek was a line of bloody teeth prints. My child bit this poor girl so hard he broke the skin on her face. Ugh. Wiley seemed subdued when I walked in the door, and now it all made sense. Gloria said she put him in time out, but I imagine there was a fair bit more drama around the incident; though Wiley hasn't reported anything else. The reason I think this is because of his striking behavior the rest of the afternoon. First, my thoughts on reasons for the bite: he's getting sick (very congested when I picked him up); Archer issues; and I know you all will laugh, but I think he's struggling with some pre-reading issues and it's overwhelming to him. Anyway, this afternoon he very much needed me all the time, all of me, all the time. I tried calling York once and Wiley grabbed the phone out of my hand and told me no and I never was able to make the call. While I was playing with Wiley I tried checking on Archer while he was napping about 5 feet away and Wiley screamed with desperation, no no no. When I came back he said, "check on me now." When I tried washing his hands he was crying and screaming so I empathized, 'you're having a rough day today aren't you?' and he said, "I no like to be naughty." I asked if he were worried that I didn't love him anymore since he bit sarah, and he said yes. So I reassured him I still loved him, but didn't like biting. He really seemed to need reassurance of this all afternoon. I even tried some play therapy with him to see if I could figure out what was bothering him--more than adjusting to a brother, but nothing emerged today that I've figured out yet, except he did consistently play the parent of a baby--baby Archer. He was always loving and caring to the baby.

Hey Gloria, I just wanted to say again how sorry I am about the bite and let you know I've talked to Wiley about it. We talked about what teeth are for ("crunching" and "eating") and what he can crunch/eat ("apples", "carrots", "pizza" etc) ( can you crunch a person? "no!")
Then we talked about what he could do if he feels like biting someone again and we came up with a plan for Wiley to yell "I'm angry" and walk away...we practiced and role played this some today and will continue to do so, but I'm not entirely sure a 2 1/2 year old is capable of remembering this in the moment. I hope the yelling is ok with you, I figured it's better then something physical. (the first alternative he came up with was to hit instead of biting!)
See you next week.
-Elizabeth